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Monday, April 20, 2009

What's been missing

We had a highly enjoyable time visiting with Todd's brother Tim and his wife Allison, who came for a week plus over Easter. It was a blast hanging out with them, and spending time with family, and was made even better by the return of Todd's spirits for the duration. It's been ages since I saw this smile:

Todd and Tim watching Electric Dreams. If you've seen the movie, you know that it's not really funny, but it's kind of a family cult classic. I've also witnessed how Halo 3 seems to bring back some of the "old Todd" in listening to him play with his brothers. How I love him! How I've missed his vibrant, vivacious, passionate personality! I find it very interesting how the stroke and life afterward has moved his personality from one end of the spectrum to the polar opposite. Both are good, the exuberance and the quiet contemplation. I just wish I could have both. Put them in a bag and shake them up. Redistribute. But like most things, it's a case of you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, I guess. Hopefully I've learned the lesson, and some of the "Old Todd" will start creeping back in again.

Todd's still struggling with the sleeping issue. He sleeps from about 10:00 pm to about 11:00 am. He's driving himself crazy with it too. They are considering a couple of different medications to try to help, but I'm not convinced that that is the answer. Rittalin? Really? We have to go there?

Oh, and the Voc Rehab thing was kind of a joke. The meeting lasted all of 30 minutes. Todd left feeling even more discouraged, and we went back to the assumption that it would be up to us. We will have to create a program ourselves, and whatever help we can get from VR, from Disability, from the Church, we'll take, but we're pretty much going to have to rely on ourselves and our inginuity, and the Lord for this one. Todd will be meeting with our Bishop on Tuesday to discuss employment with the Church, in their Voc Rehab program with Deseret Industries. Because Todd is a highly educated person, I anticipate (and dearly hope) that he will be useful in a greater capacity than stock and donations. Office work, training, management, operations, perhaps. I wish I could go with and be his advocate, because he's likely to just do whatever, and not promote himself and his strengths, abilities, and tallents, and that simply won't do.


Jj Starwalker said...

I am sorry that Voc Rehab was not responsive to your needs. K worked with them for literally MONTHS as they tried to find some way to help, some fit for him, before... in the end.. they came to what was the correct solution in his case and insisted that he file for disability.

If Todd needs an advocate, by all means BE that person. Insist on appointments both with and without him with anyone that matters. YOU see him on a daily basis and know, better than anyone, who is is today and what his strengths and weaknesses are.

There are some similarities now, with Todd v2.0 and Kevin... K will not speak up for himself much either (this is abused childhood speaking here and his disabilities make it worse) and since I have a complete and durable Power Of Attorney, that pretty much means for all intents and purposes I AM K... K realizes that he needs the support of an advocate, does Todd? So he insists that I sit in on almost everything. I am pretty sure he is going to insist on a meeting between me and his counselor at the appointment today (this is one where I sit out, to allow her to do her "magic") as she has too much info and cannot come clear on a diagnosis and he thinks my day to day insight will help. I have spoken with her in the past.

I have confidence in you, Amy, to be able to be his advocate, as you have been with Oliver. It is good that you also have the support of the Church, I think.

Blessings on you all...

Tali said...

I wish you could go with him too. but maybe if you tell the bishop that, he can help make that clear to those at the church employment place when they are working out the arrangements. I Love seeing that smile too. wish we could see it more often. Love you todd, and you still amaze us all.

Don Fallick said...

It's great to see Todd's smile again! So glad you caught it so the rest of us could see it too. Sorry about the voc rehab experience. I was hoping they had improved in the years since I dealt with them. Sounds like they haven't, tho. Have you thought of volunteering in the temple? Jordan River has a great need for veil workers and ordinance workers, now that Draper Temple is open, and will be even more short-handed after Oquirrh Hills comes on line, as these temples will collectively take nearly half the staff. Shifts are available at various times, last about 5 hours, and there's great camaraderie there. Plus the spirit of the Lord, which is also a spirit of healing. I know!

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

Great to see the positives in this new update! Hoping for a good job-situation outcome...

Holly (from Adoptive Parents board)