What's been missing

We had a highly enjoyable time visiting with Todd's brother Tim and his wife Allison, who came for a week plus over Easter. It was a blast hanging out with them, and spending time with family, and was made even better by the return of Todd's spirits for the duration. It's been ages since I saw this smile:


Todd and Tim watching Electric Dreams. If you've seen the movie, you know that it's not really funny, but it's kind of a family cult classic. I've also witnessed how Halo 3 seems to bring back some of the "old Todd" in listening to him play with his brothers. How I love him! How I've missed his vibrant, vivacious, passionate personality! I find it very interesting how the stroke and life afterward has moved his personality from one end of the spectrum to the polar opposite. Both are good, the exuberance and the quiet contemplation. I just wish I could have both. Put them in a bag and shake them up. Redistribute. But like most things, it's a case of you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, I guess. Hopefully I've learned the lesson, and some of the "Old Todd" will start creeping back in again.

Todd's still struggling with the sleeping issue. He sleeps from about 10:00 pm to about 11:00 am. He's driving himself crazy with it too. They are considering a couple of different medications to try to help, but I'm not convinced that that is the answer. Rittalin? Really? We have to go there?

Oh, and the Voc Rehab thing was kind of a joke. The meeting lasted all of 30 minutes. Todd left feeling even more discouraged, and we went back to the assumption that it would be up to us. We will have to create a program ourselves, and whatever help we can get from VR, from Disability, from the Church, we'll take, but we're pretty much going to have to rely on ourselves and our inginuity, and the Lord for this one. Todd will be meeting with our Bishop on Tuesday to discuss employment with the Church, in their Voc Rehab program with Deseret Industries. Because Todd is a highly educated person, I anticipate (and dearly hope) that he will be useful in a greater capacity than stock and donations. Office work, training, management, operations, perhaps. I wish I could go with and be his advocate, because he's likely to just do whatever, and not promote himself and his strengths, abilities, and tallents, and that simply won't do.

What today holds

Today Todd meets with his Vocational Rehab councelor, to set up his IPE (Individual Plan for Employment.)

This is a very good thing, which he had to qualify for, but in that is a two edged sword. On the one hand, it's great because they will help him to decide what he wants to do in the future, and find something meaningful and fulfilling to him which he is capable of, and provide him with the services to meet those goals. On the other hand, the letter was quite a shock to him, making it painfully clear that he is "most significantly disabled" (for the purposes of the VR program.)

Personally I don't consider him to be "most significantly disabled" in anything. Mildly disabled, or moderately so at the utmost. Sure he still struggles with things, but he's mobile, can take care of himself, and even Oliver for a bit occasionally, communicate, drive, and yes, work, eventually. But it was a shock for him to read that. I reminded him that it was for the purposes of the VR program and that that is a good thing, because it qualifies him for the program. But in my eyes, and I'm sure in everyone else who knows him, he's more Able than disabled.

So I know it's been what, 9 months now? But please keep us in your prayers. For Todd, as he goes to this meeting and starts the program, and as he continues to struggle through dealing with his deficits each and every day. And me, to have the patience and compassion and strength to continue to help him, and continue to keep going.